The Good, the bad, my 4 years of College Life.

I am gonna open my heart. OK. So let's begin. The age 19, 20 and 21 ain't easy, you lose friends, you make mistakes, you fall, you fail, you realize things, you hit reality, you lose yourself, but in the end you find yourself and you become stronger and those are still the best years of your life too.

Once you enter a college, you are almost 18(an adult). There will be many 'small' instances that will have a 'big' impact on your life. You will meet a lot of people, out of them some will become your best friend for life, some you will hate no matter what, some will become close like really close. Even there will be people whom you never want to see and just wanna punch them in the face. I got three names for it. Let's not go in that way.

What you're about to read is a big part of my college days experience, lessons and it's not something I take lightly. I put a lot of thought into what I'd want 20-something-year-olds to learn from me and the things I gave up. It took a lot of efforts to connect all the dots. I pour my heart and soul in this story, opening the door for everyone to see what I see, to feel what I feel.

At this time you might be working in some cool office, some will be preparing for the next CAT, GATE, some will be going for civil services, govt. jobs, Some will be enjoying life as it is, some will still be figuring out what they want to do with their life. Whatever, now and then memories of those days hits you and you start to feel all that back again. Here is some of the thing I got to know that make me who I am today and in hope when you read all this, you feel somewhat connected.

Make a lot of friends

I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun. Isn't it obvious friends are the thing, they make everything worthwhile. When one comes to college, life is totally different from what we are used to. Schoolmates are far away. During my first year, I lived in a hostel, NBH room number 160. Coming from Varanasi to Lucknow and living here in the college hostel was a totally new experience. I came to meet a lot of people coming from all kinds of backgrounds and culture. Some got connected instantly and we became bros, some friendship took its time. Living in a hostel has its own adventure. It's like living in a world where you question Sala ye bhi Hota hai, Aise bhi log hote hai, I met people that were brilliant at something, I met people that were amazing singers, artist. Some were just Irritating tried to scam me of that E-biz Stuff. There was this who was just die-hard fan of Pawan Singh, whenever he was in boys bathroom, sings those songs of Pawan Singh. It was too fun. I miss his songs.

So where I was, Perks of having a lot of friends is that you got a diverse kind of people and got to choose whom you want to spend time with according to your mood, time place, etc. When you are down friends are there for you as they were for me always. Make a lot of friends. Some are for the time being some sticks and those who stick are there for life. They are gold. I have some decent friends whom I can lean on. They are love. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be the very person I am today. They've helped shape who I am with their personality, their odd traits, and their random peculiarities.

Power and money are the fruits of life… But family and friends are the roots of life… We can manage without fruits, but we cannot stand without roots.

Fall in Love

The most beautiful people you'll ever meet aren't always the ones who catch your eyes first. No, the most beautiful are the ones that can never be figured out. The one you could talk with for many hours and still have a million things to ask. The people who have mind so lovely and special, you can't help but fall in love with them.

Love is not always kind either. Sometimes love is harsh. Sometimes it's a brutally honest truth. Sometimes it's tough love. Sometimes you do things for someone and they just, " Don't care" but you do it because you love them. I'm not saying this is healthy, but this is what love is. No more on this, I always lose focus on this topic.

What I wanna convey is find your love and love with all your heart, be there for them even when you don't feel like it. Just that. Love makes you a caring person. You must be a caring person man. It transforms you in a way you never have expected.

Have people who care for you.

You already be knowing this, the people you surround yourself are the people responsible for most of your growth, development, happiness, sadness. If you have people who care for you, consider yourself blessed. When coming to this, I consider myself very lucky. During those 4 years, I came to know many people, some from the heart, who were the people who always looked over me, guided me, scolded me, accepted me as I am and helped me, pushed me to come out of my comfort zone and to look beyond. If you are reading this, know this I am very thankful to you. A ton of thanks to TBT family and my classmates and to whoever I felt a connection.

Have people whom you care

I never knew that in these 4 years there will be people in my life that will mean so much to me. People for whom I will be willing to cross an ocean. People for whom I will be pushing my limits. People for whom I will be crying and have so many feelings. People for whom I can do what I can without expectations.

People make it important and add to the purpose you could have in life. It makes life more meaningful. By taking care of them you are showing your appreciation to them for being there. It makes you happier. It makes you do more things; being selfish can have its limits, but involving yourself in selflessness can result in an infinite result. You should care about other people because at one point in life YOU might be "the other people".

Here is my favorite quote from the movie "October Sky". It's an awesome movie. Must see. It's about how one thing you do affects every other thing.

The nature of our immortal lives is in the consequences of our words and deeds that go on apportioning themselves throughout all time. Our lives are not our own; from womb to tomb, we are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness we birth our future. -October Sky

Don't Take Anything Personally, People act accordingly.

When someone treats you like shit, you should never assume that it's because you did something to deserve it. No, the way that person is acting says a lot more about them and their inner issues than it does about you.

Maybe it's because they're unhappy with their lives and decide you're a great punching bag. Or maybe they were treated like shit growing up, and so that's all they know.

Whatever the case, it's in your best interest to not take it personally, because when you do, that means you acknowledge it and may even start to believe it. Trust me, I know this is incredibly hard, especially in the moment when things are heated, emotions are flying, and you feel obligated to defend yourself.

My starting third year was the most stressful and it was the time I felt the most terrified because of some people who just were close and when their deed doesn't give them what they wanted they decided to put all their anger frustration all on me even death threat. It was an unbearable time. Came out of unbearable time. Thankful to my friends and family. It was personal and thankfully I didn't act personally.

People are strange creator man and also we can't live without them. So be nice. If you want to live a good life, you can't take everything personally. Understand that there are more important things to life - things like your health, family, loved ones and career.

Passion

To succeed you have to believe in something with such a passion that it becomes a reality. Through all of life's up and down, having a passion is an unfailing outlet you can turn to, a stress reliever, and something that will always be there. Sometimes we need a break from social media, our relationships, or the commotion and hectic-ness of life. A passion can be that break anytime, and that's pretty irreplaceable. There was a lot of time during those 4 years when I was super tensed, was not able to figure out about things, bad things keep on happening. It was things like painting, photography designing, Learning Chinese helped me to tackle those things and come up with new energy and go further.

There are things that just come to me naturally, and there are those that just not, for that I put a lot of extra effort. I got into design, I worked on it. Put hours days months. Learned it, practiced it, done lots of actual work in this. Never have thought this is what I will be passionate about. Now I look back and I think the ride was a rollercoaster. Everything once I learned, paying off these days.

I should add this when you find something you genuinely just love to do for the sake of doing it, it will always feel good. Do all things with love.

Learn People Behavior

This was the thing I learned during those days, I had to, if not my mind would have blown away. Accept this, every person is self-centered, it's just a matter of how much. Everything one does have a driving force that makes them do what they do. People sometimes do things that make you so much angry at them. You want them to change their behavior towards you, but they will not. It's their natural way. It's their behavior pattern. Knowing it and accepting it will keep you calm and give you a set of all-new different perspective towards them.

Everyone is unique; everyone behaves differently. People whom you surround yourself have their way. Learn it. Understand it. Life will be so much easy and enjoyable. It was not easy to live with friends for years like Tanmay, Prabhat, Govind, Vipin, Hemant, Nitin. Lots of discords, fights, arguments, and whatnot. They understood me and I understood them, finding their behavior like what makes them angry, what to avoid and what not to say. It made life much easier and peaceful.

Give gallis, a lot, believe me, help you overcome a lot of stressful things and from problems.

I'm not used to abusing back in time, not this time also if you do not include the famous Banarasi Gali. Haha. But still I seldom abuse people but I m used to say these to things like my laptop, smartphone, SLR when they don't work the way they should. When I put hours to code and what I get is a series of error and to just realize to start over. I do like to say f**k thousand times. And yeah it helps, let's do it in the comment section. Lol, no.

Until you ask the answer is always no.

If you want to get what you want, you need to ask. Otherwise, people won't ever know your intentions and you'll just end up missing on big opportunities that could've gone in your favor. Remember the things you want are on the other side of your fear.

If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer's always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place. ~Nora Roberts

So keep moving forward and ask away. In those time I wanted to say people or ask people so badly, but couldn't. It's not a healthy thing. I gave people hints, but they never happen to get that. I am still a learner in this and I guess I will always be. You can choose to ask straightway. I am not. I am this way and I accept it.

Don't ever change.

When people tell you not to change, it's because they like a certain trait or quality that you have and wish for you to keep it. They fear that if you change, the trait they liked - your optimism, your kindness, your honesty, whatever - will disappear and change the person you once were.

And in many ways, it can be a good thing. After all, it's a compliment is it not? But the only problem with not changing is that you're living their version of your life, not your own. As nice as it sounds to the ears, in reality, all it does is discourage you from growing. It stifles your potential. As you grow you will learn change is a constant thing. 4 years is enough to know it from upside down. Just imagine yourself now and back then when you enter the class on 16th August.

Most important: Enjoy the little things.

The college has no doubts have the best moment of our life. Oftentimes when we reminisce, it is enjoying the small things in life, those everyday moments that have truly made up the fabric of our lives.

Saying a little thank you when someone does something for you, giving a compliment to your cousin who just wowed you by his her smart deed. Appreciating yourself whenever you work hard and do a good thing. Live in the moment and appreciate the little things. After all, our lives are created by millions of small "now" moments all strung together. You are alive, you are breathing, most likely at this very moment you are safe, and those are just the basics. There is a lot more to be thankful for. The little things, the little moments, they aren't little.

For me when I look back, it's family and friends, teachers and classmates, seniors and juniors and who not. They have all added something, not just something but everything. As I said The little things, the little moments, they aren't little. And to conclude everything. Here is a song I enjoy these days.

To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.

Life is basically one challenge after the other. We can't let that get the best of us. No one can know what the future holds, no one can change our past. The only thing we can control is our today. Live in the moment, follow your heart, and accomplish all your dreams.

Take the advice, lesson, anything that's useful to you (including this article) and feel free to metaphorically put the rest in the trash where it belongs. Hope you got something from reading all these. Thanks for making it to the last. Stay Awesome. Stay connected, more stories soon.

If you read this far, then you must have an opinion. Tap away 👏. If you have to add something that I missed or you have your own opinion then leave a comment below.

You can also go through my website and on my Medium Blog to find some more article and what I am upto these days.